The Afterlife of Fatherhood

Public Awareness

To the father, the one that loves his children. The father that comes home after a long day’s work, excited to walk in the door; he can’t wait to see his children’s faces — that light up his heart. He recognizes the identification, ‘father’ is not just what he has become but who he is.

Nothing is promised, we must take what we get. Stand bold in our pain. It is the man that must be strong! At a young age, the man is programmed — men don’t cry and heartache is weakness.

Marriage and relationships are no longer sacred. It is easier to quit, than to work on ourselves for the sake of each other. Standards are lowered, as we give in to seductions. Although, these seductions pass many times over. Sweet words can turn to violence. Nothing is promised, a beautiful rose can make us bleed.

The father sacrifices himself, for his children’s sake, he packs up his belongings and leaves his heart at the door. Devastated, he leaves his life behind him. The mother has her children to occupy her thoughts, while the father has nothing left but his thoughts. The father goes not to bed, but to where he can lay his head, he closes his eyes with his children’s tears frozen in time. What was his daily routine, now belongs to the past. What could he have done differently?

The day he welcomed his angel and prince into the world, he envisioned his life as a father. His vision as a father is now a distant memory, his thoughts and pain are not the worst he will endure. The mother is blinded by angers eyes. The father will soon find, when he walked out that door on that gloomy day, he will have to fight for his rights that God gave him.

The price the father is expected to pay, to see his kids face’s again, is higher than the means in his bank account. The man is empty, the man is weak, the man is part of our justice system. He no longer is a man, or a father, he is obsolete. The man who was denied his rights as a father, is taken into the court system, losing over half of his income. The system will guarantee that the father will not be able to afford the costs that justice puts on being a father. His children, will grow up thinking that he did not want to spend time with them. The father will not talk ill on the mother, for fear of giving his children any of his own pain, he will instead take the bad name he has gained.

The father, will go through financial hardships. A human faces total fear, when they have no means to survive. The father carries this same fear, along with the upcoming court date and threats of incarceration. The father who exhausted his funds, finds himself surrounded by concrete. He finds a tiny bit of relief, the threats are gone, and it can’t get any worse than this. Justice has taken the father’s strength, giving him weakness, and making a criminal out of him.

He feels sadness for his kids, the life they must live without him and what they must think of him. The father not only leaves his heart and pride at the door on that gloomy night, he also changes his title, he is no longer a man he is a criminal.

The laws of our so-called land of the great is taking every piece of a man’s purpose on this earth, and isolating him. We rely on our government to have our best interests at heart. As a citizen we gain safety, as our courts take the thieves and the murderers off the streets. The strong, hard-working moral father loses his faith in his safety in the justice system, because he is thrown in jail with the thieves and murderers, as he could not bring income from air.

This blog is based on the life, of the man I love. We first met in 2011. I fell in love with him, as I secretly admired him from afar, teaching his children. Before that day I saw a man that was truly lost. In my moment of admiration, I realized, he just truly missed his kids. For eleven years, he was only able to see his children nine hours a month because of justice. He was arrested three times, due to lay off’s and running out of funds. It was heartbreaking to see how much the children and him needed and missed each other every month. Today, two mediation’s later, he enjoys his children only two days out of the month.

The pain the father and children endured, came from revenges eyes. Revenge is blind. Mothers please, put your children first. Just because the rose cut you, doesn’t mean it will cut your children. Your children will see how you reacted to that cut. Will they look back at the pain with admiration in their eyes, for how you handled it? Or will they look back and see the pain you caused them from your own?

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(c) 2019, Andrea R. Rice, All Rights Reserved.

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