What if you found a partner, one that completely takes your breath away? Things couldn’t get any better, and you see this relationship lasting forever. You found the one that you have always dreamed of… People admire these relationships from a distance, dreaming that one day they might find someone that makes them complete. We see these relationships from afar, never really knowing the truth behind closed doors until they go their separate ways. I spent a lot of years trying to understand how perfect love can turn into something so explosive, it was until I began studying the word that it all made perfect sense.
“One man may hit the mark, another blunder; but heed not these distinctions. Only from the alliance of the one, working with and through the other, are great things born.”Antoine de Sainte-Exupery
God made his intent concerning the structure of a relationship evident in Genesis when God created Adam and Eve. God commanded Adam not to eat from the tree of knowledge. God made Eve for Adam, she was created from Adam’s rib so that the man and woman would come together as one flesh. The serpent soon coaxed Eve into eating fruit from the tree of knowledge; which she then shared with Adam. God knew all things that took place, yet, God went straight to Adam with questioning because Adam was expected to lead Eve to make sure that she stayed clear of danger. God then relayed to Adam and Eve the structure of a relationship.
“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”Genesis 3:16 KJV
In the beginning, Adam inherited the garden of Eden and he ruled over everything in the garden. The man inherited the earth, and everything in it, which was what God has been trying to give to the man since the day of his creation. The serpent has been trying to take that inheritance away from the man ever since. The man is much more than just simply a gender, God made him in order to lead the generations to come. The man was made with strength, confidence, and perseverance that the serpent has been trying to steal from him since day one. As God intended the man to rule the earth and lead the generations to come, it all starts within the union of the man and the woman. It starts with, love…
“To whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, This man is the great power of God.”Acts 8:10 KJV
The man wants to be important in the eyes of a woman, he wants her to trust in him as he leads. If you are offered a lead position at a company, you are first trained for that position so that you are properly equipped to lead the company to success. If you fail to pay attention during the training process, chances are you will fail and lose your leadership position. As a leader, you are held accountable, people turn to you for direction. As a leader, you must be able to identify inadequacies from day one concerning those that you hire, if not you will receive failed efforts, the wrong hire could possibly take your company into bankruptcy. You are expected to lead your team to success, and when things go wrong you are expected to fix the issues. As a leader, you must be kind and caring, you must look out for the team’s best interest or you will lose those vital employees that keep the company running. The leader is the glue that holds the company together, much as the man is expected to lead his home, which begins the day he is promoted or the day he decides that he is ready to look for love.
“The most important qualities of a good leader include integrity, accountability, empathy, humility, resilience, vision, influence, and positivity.”https://www.adamenfroy.com
While searching for the woman that God provides, the man must take his time to learn who this woman is that he is putting his time into. He needs to find out what this woman needs in order to fulfill her heart. He must be sure that he will easily gain satisfaction while making her happy, her happiness will then multiply his efforts by the love that she gives him in return. It is important that the woman knows not only that he is attracted to her physically, but he is undeniably intrigued by her heart and soul. She needs to know that her thoughts on any occasion are priceless. The woman has a deep desire to nurture what she loves, and if you show no interest in her mind she will assume that her efforts will be lost. The relationship has to contain a commonality of perspective to be sure that both are satisfied in their efforts. While patience is the preparation to receive, he must remember to trust in God and not let his loneliness get the best of his desires.
“People will waste years in a relationship only for it to end because they ignored that gut feeling at the beginning that was saying something isn’t right! As humans, we are impatient, so we take it upon ourselves to fix our loneliness.”OurDayDream
Finally, he finds the woman that he is safe enough to give his heart to, all his thoughts, and truths. He wants to know everything about her, he finds so much beauty in her thoughts and he can’t wait to hear what it is that she has to say next. She is beautiful inside and out, and he knows that his feelings can only grow. She is loving her newfound gift and is imagining her future with a man that can’t get enough of her, the truths that she has held inside are safe.
“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”Oscar Wilde
God gave the man the position to lead the growth of their love together. This means that the man was gifted with the ability and desire to lead his love. The good news is that God gave the women a desire to feel protected and to be lead by the man. The man is steering the ship from day one, if he crashes the ship it may never look the same again. Or it may sink altogether. If there is love that proves to be true, the woman will follow the lead. That’s concerning every step that the man takes, it’s a lot for the man to carry but it gives him fulfillment that he can’t be happy without.
“He left behind the ashes of his sweet memories, leads her heart to become an ocean, an ocean overfilled with love which is leaking through her eyes.”Yashi Srivastava
EXAMPLE: Adam woke up, he looked at the clock and realized that he was late for work. As he was rushing out the door, he stops to give his love a kiss with his heart full of joy. As his day continued, he felt as though nothing was going right. Finally, the day was over and it was time to go home and relax. As Adam was driving home, his tire blows out. He eventually makes it home, completely consumed with the frustration of that day.
With this example Adam has two options:
Option A: Adam walks in the door eager to tell his love all about his bad day, with frustration in his tone. He gives her a quick kiss, making his way to his chair. He turns on the tv and falls asleep. He forgets all about the love that terminated his frustrations when he was heading out the door this morning. She realizes that he had a bad day, and while he is sleeping she can’t help to feel sadness for his heart. She would have done anything to fix his day.
Option B: As Adam makes his way to the door, he takes a deep breath with the intention of releasing his day so that he can walk in the door submerging his heart into her arms. He walks in the door grabbing her with all the love that he has reserved just for her. He is amplifying her love and happiness, she knows that she is important to him. His favorite thing to do is to find out what’s on her heart and mind, so he asks her about her day and she asks him about his. He tells her about his day with the love that he has for her in his tone, and he lets her know that the love that she gives to him makes all the suffering disappear. She feels loved and cherished, and she appreciates all that he does. He wakes up the next morning, giving her a kiss on the way out the door with his heart full of joy.
God gave us this beautiful ability to overcome any obstacle if we have love in our hearts. If the man shows his love that he is frustrated, even if it has nothing to do with her, she gains his pain. She automatically wants to fix it. A man refuses to burden his love, he wants to fix his problems on his own, she is then left feeling defeated. On the other hand, if the man has frustration and seeks her heart and happiness, he is delivered from all the frustration, while allowing her to easily fix the situation.
“No matter what we go through in life we will survive with one single emotion, love.”OurDayDream
If a man screams at a woman and/or name calls, she loses her ability to fix things. She loses her place of safety in his heart. When a man gets violent with a woman whether it be verbally or physically, even just raising his voice at her, it changes the whole relationship, although her love will probably be enough to keep her fighting to find the love that they once had. The love they shared before that day has evolved from safety to fear for the next time. She will not be able to look at him or herself the same, he is no longer looked up to as the protector, he is now the enemy that may attack at any moment.
“If you are reacting with anger or hate, understand that this anger comes from the inside out; there is nothing that your partner will ever be able to do to fix your lack of self-love.”OurDayDream
If you understood the stance of a man and implemented it for the rest of your life, you may find that the damage you had previously caused in your relationship would turn into a rebirth of a new inspiring relationship. Men know your place in this world. You are Kings, your home is your castle, and your children are the generations to come. The way you lead molds this world. God Bless!
“Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.”1 Corinthians 7:37