If up until today you have yet to know the truth; I am here to tell you that you cannot possibly make someone happy that isn’t in a place of love. An argument I might make against the people pleaser tactic is, how incredibly naïve it is to believe that the world will kindly submit to your efforts.
I am just going to throw this out there and say, if we genuinely love ourselves, we would not put ourselves through the pain of trying to please everyone. While you are waiting for acceptance, you may find more often than not your energy and kindness are depleted because you’re allowing yourself to stand in a position of believing that you are being taken advantage of.
I might also argue that people pleasers are essentially attempting to manipulate others into a response that will fill the people pleasers void with love. The truth is love never actually works if it’s coming from a selfish constitution, love has to be selfless, this is why you are feeling void because you are not giving away what you have inside, but you are trying to strictly receive that which you don’t have. Love can only ever be given away if it resides within.
Ouch, listen… I have lived on this planet long enough to know that the truth can be completely painful, and I am sorry if this is striking a nerve. But please don’t leave just yet, I don’t want you to endure all this pain for nothing! I want to gift your pain with a little bit of gain. You have endured long enough, aren’t you exhausted?
I think it’s important to explain that I am most certainly not telling you to be selfish and to stop helping people… What I am telling you is there is a better way. Which I will be getting to shortly. First, I have to say, if you are a people pleaser, you have to STOP IT! Stop trying to please everyone, it’s an impossible goal and it’s holding you captive to their actions. It’s not healthy, and you deserve happiness the same as they do! You can’t possibly satisfy all those that call upon you, and the good news is that you never actually had to! And by now reading this blog, you may have realized that your people pleasing tactic is hurting both you and them. So, let’s change that!
I am going to go into a short biblical explanation, and then I will continue. Please, I don’t want to lose you before you receive your gift, stay with me. It is my testimony that I didn’t know love until I fully gave my past, present, future, and every breath to God to safely hold. That meant that I was now dying to what I knew previously, and while the world used to train me in the way, now the spirit is training me in the way which is my intuition.
To the Christian: God is love, your body is a temple where Jesus abodes, if you are not understanding this fact, you are praising a man named Jesus instead of a spirit. You see Jesus died and was resurrected, and he poured out his spirit unto all of us, so now you can’t technically praise Jesus without loving yourself as you love him, because he is not separate from you.
We continue… When you learn to neglect what the world expects of you, you begin to grow love within, you begin to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. You start doing what makes you happy because you know that’s important. You start giving yourself the time you used to spend pleasing the world, and you begin cherishing that time. You start gaining energy, your health starts increasing. Life starts lighting up. You start being filled up by the love that you give away, and you stop caring if that love is reciprocated. You expect nothing because what you have inside is enough. Your temperance is so much better than it was because you are happier now. People see your smile instead of your exhaustion and they try to duplicate what you are doing, because they want what you have. It takes little effort to help others now, though when you have the means to help it means so much more to you than it ever did before because there is no motive or need. You can receive all of the love that you are giving away now because you have that magnet of love inside of you drawing love to you. You can see and feel that love so strongly because you no longer are holding onto the animosity that was previously fogging your perception.
So today, make it your mission to light up your world. Enjoy your life! Try, experience, and see new things! If you need time alone, take it! I know it’s cliché, but you really only have this life to live and it’s a short ride in the extent of eternity. The only thing that will truly matter when life begins to close in is love. In the end, will you say thank God I abandoned the world to inspire the world? Set yourself free from captivity!