Throwing In The Towel

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Jesus… Jesus…. Jesus…. Oh, how I wish to be more like you, unshakable mighty oak in a swampy abyss. I think about my walk with God, the same walk that you had Jesus.

I think about how when I start doing great my flesh decides it’s time to graduate. Bye bye poppa! I got this now! On my way out into the great world of the unknown… Don’t worry God, you gave me all the tools I need to be ready…

I start packing my belongings to head out into the great unknown. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there is an impact that seems so undeserving! It is that very impact that breaks me down enough to go running back to my father, my God intervenes. He sends me love notes from Ministries, mentors, friends, and even strangers to bundle me up with his presence.

Every note, every ministry, and word stays in tune across the board saying don’t leave yet child. I have a better ending.

I am always trying to graduate, to move on to something more exciting rather than receiving the excitement right here and right now. Jesus, I thank you for staying close to me even when I decide to graduate! It’s a lonely place, but at least I know you are always here situated inside feeling everything I feel.

Then when I finally find myself in alignment with your will God, my experience tells me that I will be exceeding with great joy! Lord, I could never have guessed that you would have pulled me this far. I never saw it in me, nor was it even a thought, but you gave me purpose Lord. And though sometimes it is uncomfortable, painful, and lonely, I know that’s only because it’s a level that I have yet to see. So Lord use me as your vessel! I am excited to see how high we will rise together. I say it time and time again, but I am tapping out of this race until you say go and how fast. Lord direct me and allow me to feel your love when I feel like I lost all strength and hope to keep going. Lord I don’t want things to go back to where they were, I want things to be brand new in you for what is given by you can’t be torn down.

Lord help me to be a mighty oak. Unwavering and merciful, available for shade and warning, but there for might and beauty too. A home for your creatures to gain their rest.

Lord I know I can’t give away what I don’t have, and I ask you father that you continue to put in me all the things you wish for me to give away. Lord, I love you and I praise you! I thank you for doing miracles in my life, even when it feels too heavy you are working it all out for the good.
Amen

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